Don't say it out loud.

The days are getting warmer (sometimes) and the fur is getting progressively scruffier. I can delay it no longer and the call must be made. Sorry Muffin, but a visit from the man in the van is overdue. I have to do the deed myself as hubby thinks himself a comedian. I would rather not have to face a groomer who has been asked 'how much will it cost to trim my Muff?' Ha ha ha!
Muffy is not the most compliant dog in the world when it comes to being groomed. We can brush her for so long before she tries to eat the brush. It is lucky that she mostly produces neat firm poohs because dealing with dangle berries is likely to require a team and a well thought out plan for a surprise wet wipe assault. We decided that it was best to go with the method which would cause her the least amount of stress. She is not great with other dogs, so a van that parks in your drive, takes a scruffy dog in the van and produces a neat dog 40 minutes later, seems like a good option. She has had a few visits now and is not really impressed when she catches sight of the offending van. Hubby imagines a kind of car wash,  conveyor belt set up where the dog moves around from one grooming aid to the next. We have requested that the drying stage be skipped now due to excess shaking of the van during the first session!
We have been terribly careful when discussing the need for this affront. Nobody has mentioned the G word or eluded to the, now booked appointment, in any way. I even found myself writing it on the calender in code. Not sure why. I am pretty certain Muffy doesn't read and even if she did, she wouldn't be able to see it up on the wall.